
[My favorite scent is my own funk, my least favorite scent, other]
by Diane Seuss
My favorite scent is my own funk, my least favorite scent, other
people’s funk, and this, my friends, is why we cannot have nice
things. I value the advice I give others but I don’t like the advice
that comes my way unless it reflects what I would have done anyway.
You know how it goes. I like how my voice sounds in the car
when I sing along with Earth Wind & Fire but no one else can
pull it off, no one. My bad acting, when I acted, was charming.
I intended it to be bad, as a comment on the state of theater
in the 20th century. On days I don’t have to see anyone I don’t brush
my hair, I don’t wear underwear or shoes or chemical potions meant
to extinguish my funk, and in these times, I am nearly perfectly happy.
If you’re me, it’s luxurious to go unobserved. When asked the inevitable
question, whether I’d wear eyeliner if I was the last person on earth,
no, hell no. Eyeliner is war. When I’m alone I lay my weapons down.
from frank: sonnets